"What?" I reply, thoroughly confused until I see the unmistakable gleam of the woman's silver badge. My heart beats a little faster as I shyly ask, "What's the problem?"
"You're wearing clashing floral prints!" she barks. "And a studded belt. What were you thinking?"
Her sneer is so disconcerting that it takes me several seconds to respond. "Well, I'm going to a really important fashion event and wanted to wear something fun." The officer scoffs. Unaccustomed to having my usually rock-solid style sense challenged, my confidence starts to falter. I had known my outfit was a risk, but fearlessly forged ahead, excited about making such a bold statement. Had I made a terrible mistake?
"You're going to a fashion event? Ha! Hopefully you can learn a thing or two," she says in a nasty tone. "The laws of fashion are clear: no clashing colors or mismatch patterns. What are you, colorblind?" She looks me up and down as if I'm a lost cause. Tears threaten to fill my eyes as I look at the outfit that seemed like a stroke of genius a few weeks ago. "Well, Officer, issue me a ticket if you must. I love my outfit, and that's all that matters." My voice gets stronger with each word.
She stares at me for a moment and shakes her head. "You know, I've never given a citation for a floral-on-floral fashion crime." Is that a hint of grudging respect I detect in her voice? "I'll just give you a warning. Have fun at your event." As she walks towards a girl wearing shorts and shredded tights, I hear the officer muttering something unintelligible about a "flower girl" under her breath.
I proudly enter the bistro. "Cute outfit!" a passerby exclaims. I think I like being a fashion criminal.
Have you ever taken a style risk that paid off? Please share your stories of risking a fashion citation!
Photo by Amber Joivon of ALIVE Magazine Jacket: Forever 21; Dress: Material Girl; Skirt: Target; Booties: Macy's; Clutch: Thrifted; Belt: Hot Topic |
Here's the outfit sans jacket. Look at my STLFW press pass-cool, right? |
I wore this to the first-ever VIP Blogger Lounge hosted by Alive Mag. It was an amazing networking event/party that featured lots of local brands and goodies. |
Ohhh, the officer must not have caught up to me! Mwuhahaha!
ReplyDeleteLOL Yes, your edgy outfit would have risked a citation as well! :)
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